today i was consumed by the loneliness all around me. i went to do laundry and it was depressing. People just sitting around waiting for their laundry to get done. there was no interaction between patrons just one guy over there and another one over there, not even a "hi" or "how are you?" People don't want to be alone, and crave intimacy, but don't wont to work for it. we are all lazy. we claim we want to be loved, but don't want to put in the effort that love demands.
Living is hard, and to die would be easy.
Something needs to change in my life.

sometimes i get really lonely, i know there are people who love me, but sometimes i want to be lonely, not neccessarily alone. I think i like it because i like to be in a state of sadness. sorrow becomes me. I know there are things to be happy about, but being sad seems more real to me.
Anyway on a lighter note the band taken by trees super awesome everyone should listen to them. THey do a cover of sweet child of mine... and their original stuff sweet action.

I realize its been quite some time since i have updated and that many of my friends no longer use this, oh well. I just got a new laptop its a macbook air, and its great. I should be able to keep updated more often now. I am currently doing guest services at michindoh for the summer. Its not to bad it seems like i get all the crappy jobs that no one else wants to do handed of to me, and i am expected to do them and smile all the time. I try my best, but sometimes i cant fake a smile. tonight was work work work, I worked the desk until 6:30pm then i set up the grand hall( vacuumed, and set 240 chairs up) by myself, somewhere in the middle of setting up I got a call that reminded me of the campfire that was happening and that i needed to get s'mores ready for (thanks bb). After work the phone rang twice, someone locked themselves out of their room, and then someone else needed an extension for the cabin next door, whatever.
did i mention i had the worst schedule ever for work this weekend, friday i worked 3pm until midnight, today I worked from 1pm until 10 pmand tomorrow i work from 8am until 5pm, so i cant hang out with my friends or go to church, awesome (note the sarcastic tone in which i typed awesome).
paper airplanes and rainstorms,
eric